On November 2, 2021, my little brother died in a car accident. He was in the passenger’s seat of his girlfriend’s car when a truck T-boned their vehicle. The investigation is still ongoing, so I can’t share too many details. But here’s the eulogy I wrote for my brother’s funeral.
My name is Kyla, Shaun and Karissa’s big sister. Anyone who knows Shaun knows there are three things he loved the most: family, friends, and fighting. Sometimes he could combine all three. Mix it up like a good drink. Anyone who knows Shaun also knows he loved innuendo. So when I was talking to him in my mind, like I have been doing since he died, I said, “Bruh how can I describe this month? Worst month of our lives. Just the worst. Long and hard.” To that he’d say, “That’s what she said.”
He was the best brother anyone could ever ask for. No exaggeration there. Though he was our little brother, he wouldn’t hesitate to fight anyone who tried to hurt us. I took Shaun and Karissa to their first EDM raves. Deadmau5 and Skrillex for all ages. But a bunch of dudes were trying to grind on Karissa who was a minor then. So Shaun and I formed a barrier around her to keep the creeps away. And there was one time when these two bitches were looking at me funny at Metrotown while we were in line at Starbucks. Shaun couldn’t grow a moustache but I sorta could. Being a teenager was brutal. Anyway, Shaun noticed these bitches giving me the stink-eye. He looked at me and said, “Sarap sapakin ng mga yan.” Loosely translated to, “Those people have punchable faces.” He was just a kid then, but that protective instinct was there.
On more than one occasion he fought people who deserved it. He was waiting at a bus stop and some smoker douche canoe was giving him the stink-eye. When the bus arrived and the doors opened, Shaun stepped in but the guy chucked his cigarette in my brother’s hoodie. Shaun grabbed the guy and said, “I think you forgot something.”
Or that time he kicked a guy who was aggressively trying to remove another man’s mask in Shoppers drug mart. Or that time he defended a guy being beat up on Granville. He lost his temper when the assholes caused him to spill his favourite coffee. He didn’t quit and didn’t lose.
Even though he’s gone, it hasn’t fully registered in my brain. A few days ago, we visited the crash site. John, Karissa’s boyfriend, was the driver. Karissa in the front passenger’s seat. Joey, my fiance, to the right of me. Me to his left. And it was so surreal because Shaun usually sat where I was sitting. My spot was the middle seat, squished between Shaun and Joey like their child. And when we left the crash site, everyone took their spots in John’s car. But I was hanging around in the middle seat, waiting for Shaun to get in with us. And then I remembered, oh right.
It really sucks not having Shaun around. When we were growing up, we went through petty fights and resentments but they never lasted long because our little brother was easy to love.
In the end, I’ll leave you with my first social media exchange with Shaun in 2011. I was sitting next to him, working on some university project. Shaun was supposed to be doing his homework, but he was on his phone shitposting on Facebook. So I private-messaged him.
I said, “hey don’t be on fb. You should study right?”
He typed back, “im sorry, shaun will be right back after these messages. beep “
I love you, Shaun. Feel free to haunt me any time.
Originally published at https://kyladelrosario.com on February 2, 2022.
